Parenting Solutions
Better Than The Box It Came In
It's a ritual as old as the holidays: Your child gleefully unwraps a present, purchased with great thoughtfulness by you, or by the child's grandparents, aunts, or uncles. The toy is revealed, and there are smiles and laughter all around. Then, a few minutes later, the child is playing with the box the toy came in or the ribbons from the wrapping, while the toy has been tossed aside. This happens so often that I have made it my number one rule for buying presents for children: A toy has to be better than the box it comes in. Click here to learn how to select toys that will keep them playing.
Before I offer some tips for choosing toys that are better than the boxes they come in, let's look first at why children love packaging materials so much. It's actually pretty simple: An empty box is a great toy. It is a "blank slate," onto which children can project their imaginations. And it isn't just one make-believe thing; a box or a ribbon can instantly become something entirely different. Tiny children see an empty cardboard box as the perfect thing for games of putting in and taking out, or for climbing into for a "kitty nap," or for putting on their heads. Older children see a box as a prop for dramatic play.
Here are some key factors to keep in mind when selecting a toy, so Grandma doesn't say, "Why didn't I just wrap up an empty box?!"
• Make sure the toy is right for your child's developmental stage. Age guidelines on the box are just the beginning; you also need to know your own child, and think about the next stage, not just the current stage.
• Make sure the toy doesn't do all the work. A toy that makes a child say, "Wow!" but doesn't let the child be the player, can be exciting for a brief period. After a little while, however, it leaves the child with nothing to do. Then it's time for the box.
• Ask yourself, "What kind of play will this toy facilitate?" Toymakers think a lot about play patterns, and it's helpful for parents to think about play patterns too. Examples for infants and toddlers might be: put-and-take games, crawl enhancers, tummy time play, or fine motor busy play. Examples for 3-5 year olds might be: dramatic play, turn-taking games, creative expression, or doll/stuffed animal play.
• Know your child's preferred level of stimulation. Some kids, presented with a toy that moves and makes noise and shines lights, will retreat to the empty box because they like a more soothing environment. Other kids are just the opposite.
• Always let a child explore a new toy independently before you jump in to show the "right" way to play with it. Sometimes that rush to correct drives them to drop the toy in favor of the box, which doesn't have a wrong way to play. Research on creativity shows that when children have a chance to handle something completely new first, before they are told what it is for, they are more creative with it.
• If a new toy needs an adult to participate, like a turn-taking game that is just at the leading edge of their cognitive ability, or a toy with "some assembly required," make sure you are available to play it with them when they first open it — otherwise they might lose interest quickly.
Even if you have followed all of these tips and your child tosses the packaging aside and gets long periods of joy from the toy you select, be sure to keep those boxes and ribbons. They make great materials for crafts projects, ideal props for dramatic fantasy play, and perfect storage for little treasures.
Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, has been on the PLAYSKOOL Play Panel for seven years, making him the “old-timer” of the group. Larry is the author of the award-winning book Playful Parenting, and a new book, The Art of Roughhousing 
. A licensed psychologist in Boston, MA, Larry specializes in parenting, child development, and children’s play. Learn more about his work at playfulparenting.com and theartofroughhousing.com
