Your Child at Play: 2 to 3 Years

Your 2-year-old sits side-by-side with his pal in the sandbox, reveling in the sheer joy of filling a pail with sand and dumping it out. His friends are doing the same thing, all engaged in parallel play. It won’t be until he nears his third birthday that he’ll begin to engage in a meaningful way with his peers. But one-on-one parallel play is the beginning of socialization.

He also loves to be in motion, and his gross motor skills are developing at warp speed. Chasing a ball, pushing a wagon and climbing playground structures give your toddler a sense of his body and what it is capable of doing. Pushing his wagon full of blocks helps him learn to anticipate how much effort his muscles need to make. At the same time, he’s honing his fine motor skills: Grasping paintbrushes and crayons, and using full-arm motion are the first steps toward writing. The combination of greater body awareness and improved motor skills may also help your little one start potty training this year.

Routine is important to a 2-year-old, and repetition is a part of learning. Be patient—he’ll enjoy the simplest things over and over again! Order is important, too. Lucky for you, your child will happily imitate you cleaning up at this stage—so take advantage of it and turn post-play straightening up into a game!

Click here to choose another age or click below to learn more about:

orangebulletDEVELOPING PLAY SKILLS

orangebulletFAVORITE PLAYTHINGS

orangebulletWHAT EXPERTS SAY

orangebulletWHAT MOMS SAY

orangebulletPLAY STARTERS

DEVELOPING PLAY SKILLS

Social and Emotional Development:

You’ll see his personality take shape this year. Suddenly he has a sense of humor and cracks himself up using everyday objects in silly new ways. He’s also more aware of the people around him and will mimic what he hears and sees.

P.S. You may think your child doesn’t listen to you, but watch how he interacts with his toys. You might hear him utter a familiar “No more juice” or take on a scolding tone with a stuffed animal. It’s time to choose your own words very carefully.

Language:

Around his second birthday, your toddler may begin to talk in sentences of two and three words. As the year goes on, most toddlers progress to five- and six-word sentences. “I” and “mine” are, of course, favorites! As he approaches 3, you’ll need to do less interpretation for Grandma and strangers will likely be able to understand his requests.
 P.S. At last, his expressive language is starting to catch up to his understanding. While it may be tempting, try not to correct his grammar. If he says “runned,” it’s actually an advance. He learned the rule. He’ll grasp the exceptions later.

purplebulletFine Motor Skills:

He has more control over his fingers and wrist these days. And those fine motor skills are helped along by plenty of messy play, which strengthens finger muscles needed for future dexterity. With his surer grip, throwing a ball, painting and coloring, and building a tower of blocks will be activities he’s proud to show off. By 3, he may be able to unzip a zipper, pull off his shoes, and start pulling on his shirt. It’s great when they learn to dress themselves!
 P.S. Getting him dressed for the day may be challenging in the early part of this phase, namely because he wants to do it all himself but lacks the coordination. Give him as many opportunities to try as your daily schedule permits, and get pullover shirts and easy-to-close shoes that let him feel some mastery. Also, watch out for tags that dig into his skin or waistbands that pinch.

purplebulletGross Motor Skills:

Climbing, jumping and dancing are some of the ways your toddler is learning awareness of his body and building muscle strength. Whether he is running on the playground or climbing on the furniture, it’s usually for the sheer joy of doing it as opposed to getting somewhere. Running and chasing games begin at this age and are important to help him let off steam. Restricting him can lead to frustration and conflict. However, his understanding of potential danger is not nearly as advanced as his physical ability, so keep a watchful eye out for his safety.
P.S. At this age, nature says “move,” not “be still.” Going to the playground or playing in the backyard is not optional or frivolous. It’s actually very important for his gross motor skills. Kids this age have a growing excitement for things that are new, so if you have more than one playground nearby, or neighbors with different backyard gear, try to switch it up as much as possible.

purplebulletImagination:

Your 2-year-old loves to imitate what big people do, especially adults. He will turn a block into a telephone. He’ll tuck Teddy into bed at night. He’ll also dress up and experiment with all sorts of roles. Hats and bags allow him to become someone else. Cars and playhouses allow him to create new worlds.
 P.S. Join in pretend play with your child. Let him tell you who you should be—whether it’s a customer at the hair salon, or the captain of a pirate ship—and just go with the flow and have fun. This boosts both imagination and independence. By the time he turns 3, make-believe sessions get more dramatic and last as long as his attention span permits (which may be longer than you think).

purplebulletAnticipation and Prediction:

Predicting what comes next is the beginning of learning about time and order. Routine is important to your 2-year-old. If he is used to putting his pants on first, then his shirt, don’t try to reverse the order, unless you are itching for a fight! It’s all about having some control over this big world of which they are a small part.
 P.S. When you have to break routine, be prepared for him to be emotional, and don’t blame your child. Of course, ample warning from you can help soften the blow. If he was thinking he was going to the park and then finds you have an urgent call into work, the more warning and talking you do, the more he will accept the change. Keeping your child informed demonstrates that you respect him and his feelings. If you’re more of a free spirit yourself, don’t worry. A little routine now can help your child be more flexible later on in life.

purplebulletCreativity:

Put a crayon in that chubby hand and watch him go! Finger paints are another great way for 2-year-olds to explore the world of color. These first pieces of artwork can be the basis for his first stories, as well, as he tells you about the picture he has made. Keep his first efforts to marvel at with him when he’s older. Write his name and the date on the back.
 P.S. Make his creative experiences multi-sensory experiences, and activate as much of his brain at one time as possible. The feel of the crayon in his hand is just as important as the shapes and colors he creates. Discussing the picture’s story afterward adds language, memory and emotion. Neuroscience has shown that brains develop best when multiple pathways are engaged simultaneously.

purplebulletCognitive Skills:

Two becomes one of your child’s favorite numbers—and for good reason! His understanding of numbers is just beginning. Matching pairs of blocks, cars or leaves can be a great game. These are the beginnings of math and science development. Whenever possible, start counting things like the number of stairs you climb, the number of puzzle pieces in the box, or the number of people sitting at the table. The more you do this, the more he will begin to understand what a number is.
 P.S. Resist the temptation to draw up a lesson plan and write things down. The ideal way for kids to learn these concepts now is through lots of playtime, and not specific teaching.

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FAVORITE PLAYTHINGS
  • Toys that help build gross motor skills: Ride-on toys, push toys, balls, ladders and slides, things to hang on
  • Toys that stimulate creativity: Crayons; finger paints; PLAY-DOH compound; simple musical instruments such as tambourines and maracas; dress-up toys; cardboard boxes to make things and hide in; playhouses; blankets; furniture
  • Toys that help build fine motor skills: Sorting blocks and interlocking blocks, simple wood puzzles, beads to string, messy play
  • Toys that help build language skills: Books, puppets, crayons and paints, music and movement songs
  • Toys that stimulate imagination: Dolls, stuffed animals, puppets, clothes for dress-up, child-size broom, dishes, pots and pans
  • Toys that help build social skills: Balls, clothing for dress-up play, dolls and stuffed animals
  • Toys that help build cognitive skills: Water toys, simple puzzles and shape sorters
  • Toys that help build anticipation and prediction skills: Simple puzzles, stacking blocks
  • Toys that help build problem-solving skills: Simple puzzles, matching cards, shape sorters
  • See a full list of age-appropriate Playskool toys here.

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WHAT EXPERTS SAY

“Developmentally, your toddler has a lot in common with ancient cave dwellers 150,000 years ago.… I call two-year-olds Clever Cave-Kids.… They’re still kind of primitive, but now more than ever before they’re starting to think and to get coordinated, organized. If your two-year-old had a motto, it would be ‘Faster, Stronger, Smarter.’”
—Harvey Karp, M.D., The Happiest Toddler on the Block

“By playing with your child you can teach her important skills, not only how to do things practically, but also about taking turns and sharing. However, she will also learn a great deal from amusing herself sometimes, knowing that you are around if she needs you. Playing on her own for short periods will make your toddler feel in control of what is happening around her and will boost her self-confidence.”
—American Academy of Pediatrics, Tanya Remer Altmann, M.D., F.A.A.P., The Wonder Years: Helping Your Baby and Young Child Successfully Negotiate the Major Developmental Milestones

“What you see as ‘destructive’ or ‘bad’ is actually her curiosity. She wonders constantly, ‘What would happen if I…throw this, squash it, tear it, stomp on it? Will it bounce? Can I knock it down? What’s inside it?’”
—Tracy Hogg, Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers

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WHAT MOMS SAY

“A happy transition from daycare to home is key. We give our 2 ½-year-old a ‘chore’ to help Mommy and Daddy while we’re all getting settled, like putting some old magazines into our recycling bin. It makes him feel important, eases him back into our routine, and gets us all ready for play.”
—Mandy, Concord, NC

”Every night after dinner we have ‘silly dance time.’ We hook up the iPod and take turns coming up with silly dance moves, which everyone then must do. My 2-year-old loves to see Mommy and Daddy acting silly. And the movement gets the last of the energy out, before a relaxing bath and story before bed.”
—Trisha, San Francisco, CA

”When I go to the grocery store with my 2 ½-year-old, I ask her to tell me what we need, and then ask her to help me find those things in the store. It distracts her from all the things I don’t want to buy, and she’s less likely to complain.”
—Paula, Montclair, NJ

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PLAY STARTERS

Read aloud:

It’s around this age when your child will have his favorite books, and know them by heart. No skipping pages—order rules the day, and he will make you go back and do it over again! Stories about going to bed, getting dressed, playing, and familiar situations, like going to Grandma’s house, are among his favorites.

  • Short, rhyming stories help him learn new language in the right context.
  • When you repeat familiar stories, he may predict what happens next, tell the story in his own words, or even talk about the characters.
  • Use new words to describe the familiar.

Healthy play:

You can start to teach your child about health and nutrition now, all in a playful way.

  • Explain to him why litter is bad for the plants and animals at the park. Then play a game where he spots the trash and you do the grown-up job of throwing it away or recycling.
  • At the grocery store, he can help you find the most colorful (and healthy) fruits and veggies.
  • Let him tear some greens as you prepare a nutritious salad together.
  • Plant seeds for lettuce or an herb you may use when cooking together so he can watch it grow.

Get a grip:

He’s developing the skills that will allow him to write and dress himself. Activities that encourage the use of fingers and gripping will refine his skills.

  • Threading thick yarn through large round (uncooked!) pasta is an easy start to building finger muscles, as well as developing eye-hand coordination.
  • Sing songs with finger movements, such as “Itsy-Bitsy Spider.”
  • Rescue used clothing with big zippers or buttons from the discard pile and put it in the dress-up bin.
  • Play with snaps and other fasteners so he learns how to use them.
  • (Note: Your 2-year-old is also developing a grip that can open a door and unscrew a jar lid, so it’s important to update your home’s childproofing!)

One foot in front of the other:

Walking up and down the stairs is a great game. So is walking backward. Your 2-year-old is learning what his body can do.

  • Put circles of paper on the floor and help him jump from one to the next.
  • Have your child draw a line with chalk, and then walk, one foot in front of the other, on the “balance beam.”
  • Try jumping over the line, pretending it is a river.
  • When it’s time for clean-up, have your child pull a wagon around the room to pick up his toys.

Great pretender:

Pretend play will become more complex as your child grows from 2 to 3. Role-playing helps him learn about social interaction and relationships. One minute he’s a kitty who wants to drink milk from a bowl, the next he’s a firefighter battling a blaze. Join in the fun to encourage pretend play.

  • Old socks make great hand puppets. Draw a face on it, put it on, and make up a story or sing a song.
  • Introduce your child to her new daycare by acting out the first day at home.
  • Better than recycling: An empty shoe box could be a bed for a doll.
  • Stir up “dinner” with pots made from old ice cream containers filled with twigs from the garden.
  • Play “check out” at the supermarket. Use old cereal boxes for groceries and make money out of newspaper.

Put the pieces together:

Find activities where your child needs to make choices, whether it’s matching, sorting or fitting pieces together. Matching games, as well as puzzles, encourage him to perform mental trial-and-error tests that will help him develop decision-making skills.

  • Putting silverware away can become a game of fitting the right utensils into the correct tray.
  • Cause and effect in the bathtub: What happens to the floating boat when you fill it with water?
  • Two-year-olds love to make piles of things. His collection of dinosaurs can be sorted by color, size, type, or pretty much anything else you, or he, can think of.
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